Before stepping into something costly, Jesus gives this instruction:

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?” (Luke 14:28)

That idea—counting the cost before you begin—kept coming to mind as I read The Motive by Patrick Lencioni.

Leadership is one of those things our culture subtly funnels people toward. Perform well, move up, gain influence, take on more responsibility. For many of us, leadership feels like the natural next step, not necessarily a deliberate choice.

But when you pause to count the cost of good leadership, the question changes.

It becomes less about What do I want?

And more about What will this require of me?

The Motive Behind Leadership

Lencioni frames leadership through a simple but uncomfortable lens: WHY do you actually want to lead?

The premise is around two types of leadership: reward-centered leadership tends to focus on the visible, positive outcomes of leadership: status, money, influence, authority, flexibility. None of those things are inherently bad. The problem is when they become the primary reason someone steps into leadership.

Responsibility-centered leadership, on the other hand, acknowledges the less glamorous reality. Leadership is work. Often slow, often unseen, often unglamorous.

It includes:

• Learning how to run effective meetings

• Having hard conversations

• Giving corrective feedback

• Managing performance issues

• Hiring well (and sometimes firing)

• Carrying emotional weight that doesn’t get shared downstream

Most of us fall somewhere between these two motives. We’re rarely all one or the other. But organizations suffer when leaders enjoy the rewards while quietly avoiding the responsibility.

The Hidden Weight Leaders Don’t Expect

What I see most often in my work at Ungridlocked isn’t malicious leadership or bad intent.

It’s leaders who don’t realize what the role actually requires.

They feel tension in the organization…things aren’t running smoothly, communication feels off, accountability is inconsistent, but they can’t quite articulate why. So the issue gets pinned on the team, the culture, or “just how business is.”

This is the classic “you don’t know what you don’t know” problem.

Over time, some leaders normalize the tension. They assume leadership always feels this heavy, this frustrating, this disconnected. The cost becomes background noise instead of a signal that something needs attention.

But good leadership does come with weight:

• Emotional burden

• Loneliness at the top

• Making decisions that won’t win a popular vote

• Choosing what is right over what feels good

Leadership is a discipline of stepping toward hard things…again and again.

Counting the Cost (Before and During)

The question I kept coming back to while reading The Motive was this:

Do you have what it takes OR are you willing to acquire what it takes?

Counting the cost doesn’t mean disqualifying yourself. It means being honest.

It means recognizing that leadership is not just a title to grow into, but a responsibility to grow for. And growth almost always requires outside perspective.

A Practical Next Step

One of the most valuable things a leader can do is step outside their own system.

Talk to another business owner who has built something healthy. Invite honest feedback. Work with a consultant. Read leadership books. Create distance from your day-to-day so you can see what you’ve been standing inside of for years.

Perspective reveals blind spots.

And blind spots are what quietly limit organizations.

The Motive isn’t a complicated book and even one of his shortest fables, yet. But the material is weighty.

And for leaders willing to count the cost—not just once, but continually—it can be the beginning of healthier leadership, stronger organizations, and more honest self-awareness.

Want to discuss this book or your motive for leadership? Give me a call!